You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
