I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
