the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
