i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
