I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Randomize
