We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
