Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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