What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
