Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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