Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
