i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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