If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
