Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
