are you still at the devil's house?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
