So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this just has baby written all over it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
