I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
