So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
