I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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