If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Are my feet made of real feet?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
