There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
