I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
