i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
