I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
