you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
