I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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