I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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