yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
