You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
