My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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