He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
