Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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