Porn is love you can see.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
