My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
