I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Panties = found
Randomize
