forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
