I want you more than these girls want KFC
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
