do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You are a genius and a whore.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
