Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
