i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
