i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
