There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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