The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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