I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
