i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
