Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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