Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
