no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
