i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
