i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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