The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
